So let’s start this whole thing off with one big confession: this post was going to be about a completely different topic, but then something happened last night that made me throw it all away and start over.
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I remember growing up in Puerto Rico and wishing I had blonde hair, blue eyes and wishing my skin were white. I hated my name. I wanted a more Anglo-friendly name like Michael, Paul, or Robert. I remember a very young Cedric telling my Afro-Latino father that I didn’t want him to be my dad because his black skin embarrassed me.
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When Dev first reached about my interest in writing an article for the Live & In Color blog, my first instinct was to decline the offer. I immediately got butterflies in my stomach and that voice in my head started spouting out all the reasons why I shouldn’t do it. Who do you think you are? You’re not a writer! Who’s going to care about your experiences anyway?
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What do you do if you are Asian American growing up without a role model? A child never seeing a successful actor, model, pop star, ballerina, athlete, or even popular kid or teacher that looks like you? How do you dream of being any of those things? Without conscientiously thinking about it, you try to be as white as possible, because white is beauty and success.
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As this year I have been celebrating my 50th anniversary in the performing arts, my thoughts have turned towards what conversations I’d like to have with other like minded, passionate artists. For some time now, I have been tossing around the idea for an opinion piece on what I call the theatre world’s “elephant in the room”: the absence of directors and choreographers of color on projects based on stories about people of color.
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I am ½ Chinese and ½ Cuban, grew up in Houston, TX in the 60’s and 70’s. My parents had a super immigrant mentality - hard working, wanting to give their kids the best life possible; be American and be grateful for the freedoms afforded by this great Country. I was and I am all for that, 100%. But we did not speak of differences, or discuss that every group really likes their own and your adorable diverse, multi ethnic kids might never fit in anywhere completely!
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